It is sort of my personal mantra to help people no matter what. It's just that when I'm helping, I do get stressed out. It is o.k.. But I just realized that if its exhausting and you are really not gaining anything from it, just "stress", I think helping is not worth it.
Helping others without expecting nothing in return is an act of kindness. Helping others with expectation is a law of economics. Now I'm torn between being a saint and being an economist.
Its hard to see people, that you are trying to help, gain more and become better than you are. And at the end of it all, just because you stopped helping, you become the bad person. They look at you as if you just want to make a big drama, and you look at them with envy because they are getting closer to success. I hate it!
I have to forgive myself for trusting.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Like or Unlike
I do get to see a lot of pictures of my friends on Facebook; selfie shots, travel pics, pigging out, outfit-of-the-day, and whatever hash tagged posts. I feel envy every time I see a picture posted. I envy them, not just because they went here, they've eaten there, they wore this, blah blah blah, but because they are happy. Clicking "Like" is like saying "I envy you so much".
But a thought came through my mind. Maybe they're not really happy. They're just pretending to be happy. They really don't have a lot of things to do so they took a picture of whatever they've been through and posted it. And then you pretend that you're happy for them. But the truth is your not. You're neither happy nor sad. You're cool with it but your brain is screaming "so what?!?"
I miss those Kodak moments kept in an album, and pictures kept for memories.
But a thought came through my mind. Maybe they're not really happy. They're just pretending to be happy. They really don't have a lot of things to do so they took a picture of whatever they've been through and posted it. And then you pretend that you're happy for them. But the truth is your not. You're neither happy nor sad. You're cool with it but your brain is screaming "so what?!?"
I miss those Kodak moments kept in an album, and pictures kept for memories.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Having No Job
I never thought that having no job could be this difficult. It is more difficult than having one. Everyday is a question of "what to do?". You wake up every morning waiting for something. Something that your brain can digest, and maybe it could make sense of what the day might be.
When I was in high school (a Catholic one), we had this "Christian Living" subject. The teacher in that subject asked our class on why do people need to have a job. Because we are in our teens and we had no idea what a job really means, we all thought that having a job is essential to attain basic needs like food and clothing. Our teacher agreed. But then she told us that the real reason on why a person needs to have a job is because of self pride and the feeling of importance.
I don't have self pride. I don't have the feeling of importance. I don't have a job. And I feel difficult.
Tomorrow would be another question.
When I was in high school (a Catholic one), we had this "Christian Living" subject. The teacher in that subject asked our class on why do people need to have a job. Because we are in our teens and we had no idea what a job really means, we all thought that having a job is essential to attain basic needs like food and clothing. Our teacher agreed. But then she told us that the real reason on why a person needs to have a job is because of self pride and the feeling of importance.
I don't have self pride. I don't have the feeling of importance. I don't have a job. And I feel difficult.
Tomorrow would be another question.
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