Not to Outshine Someone

I'm kinda stubborn. Actually, I'm very stubborn . I try not to follow, and do things my way. I also try to impose my ideas because I believe that mine is better than everyone else. With this, I became arrogant. And then I came to a point where in I realized that arrogance is tiring, and my efforts really has no positive outcome. I stopped talking.
I don't know what's with me because I feel bad not putting my ideas to the table. I feel like I stopped being kind and I stopped helping them. This is a sacrifice I have to bear. Anyway, it is a good thing for me because  I'm really not gaining anything from them. So, I will not try to outshine them because they might become better than me and that they might think that I'm a threat. And they might ditch me.
I will not be ditched. Not yet.

Praying for Bad Things to Happen

A friend asked me to help them and I tried giving help in their company activity. But as time goes by, things are not turning out as I wanted it to be. So i decided to stop helping. At first, I felt happy because it was less stress. But now I feel guilty leaving them behind and seeing them sort of progress since the day I came into the picture. And every time I hear about the activity, I feel envy. I know that I am one of the reasons on why they are working now not like before. I also feel like they are looking at me as if I am the devil who left them behind and they are going to prove to me that they can do it without my help. I really feel bad and sorry for myself.
Oh my God! I tried helping them in a way that they should be helped. I don't want to be a bad person but right now I'm sort of praying that they fail. I know how they operate and manage things, and they are really not good at it. I want them to fail so that they could see what's wrong without me telling them. I think it's the best thing to wish for.
I will just observe and contain myself.
God forgive me. Help me out as well.